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Adams, F. Colburn (Francis Colburn)

"The Von Toodleburgs Or, The History of a Very Distinguished Family"


"Can't be much of a family," a third would say, "to have such a
short-legged shadow as you for coachman, and only one horse. And such a
livery as that! Why don't your mistress dress you like a man?"
Mr. Bowles had several times found himself measuring the pavement and
his hat in the gutter, as a reward for his attempts to resent such
indignities, which he considered were offered to the family rather than
himself. There was so close a resemblance between the circumference of
the lady and her coachman as to seriously damage the pretensions of the
family, and bring down upon it no end of ridicule.
There was another serious impediment to the lady's pretentions, and that
was no less a person than Mrs. Topman. No sooner had the Chapmans set up
in Bowling Green than that lady took them into her keeping, promising
them no end of introductions to nice people. Now, Mrs. Topman was one
of those social afflictions which are found everywhere, whose touch is
like contagion, and who take strangers into their keeping only to do
them more harm than good.


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