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Adams, F. Colburn (Francis Colburn)

"The Von Toodleburgs Or, The History of a Very Distinguished Family"

"Lady weighs two hundred pounds and more. A dead
weight on the back of any society. Very pretentious, but makes shocking
work of the King's English, and discovers low origin in her conversation
generally. Puts on finery without regard to color or complexion, told me
how many new dresses she had making, has big, fat hands, and wears
common gold rings. Worse than all," continued Pinks, raising his hands,
"the lady wanted to know if I could tell her how to reform servants, and
if I liked rhubarb pies for breakfast."
With such a report from Pinks it was no wonder first-rate society did
not take kindly to the lady. The rhubarb pies for breakfast settled the
question in Pinks' mind, and he never called again, though he kept up a
bowing acquaintance with the lady. Mrs. Chapman now fell back on a
reception. A reception would be the thing to make Bowling Green
surrender. The day was set and cards sent out, and notwithstanding Mr.
Gusher, who was her standing ornament and idol, assisted her in drumming
up recruits, the affair turned out to be very unsatisfactory.


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