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Adams, F. Colburn (Francis Colburn)

"The Von Toodleburgs Or, The History of a Very Distinguished Family"

"Please,
Mr. Gusher," she said, bowing and extending her right hand, "escort my
dear mother." Here was an awkward situation. Mr. Gusher's knowledge of
etiquette was for once put on trial by a plain, simple-hearted country
girl. But his offer was intended only as a compliment, and surely, he
thought, the girl would accept it in that light.
Turning nervously to Mrs. Chapman he extended his arm, saying: "Pardon,
madam, pardon. You will understand?"
"Oh, certainly, Mr. Gusher," returned the ponderous woman. "You are so
very kind--so very kind, Mr. Gusher."
Never before had Mr. Gusher escorted a woman of such ponderous
circumference. Mattie followed, her roguish smiles indicating that she
enjoyed what she considered a joke played at Mr. Gusher's expense. The
picture presented by the meeting of such extremes was indeed a ludicrous
one.
I will not weary the reader with a description of or explain a family
dinner such as that generally spread by the Chapmans, nor with the many
apologies made by Mrs. Chapman that they had not something better to set
before so distinguished a guest as Mr.


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