Partly I began to see it
at the school where we first met; but it only grew quite clear to me
when I shared in the home life of my pupils in the country. I found
I had an entirely different view of the world from what was usual.
That which was my evil, I discovered to be often others' good; and
my good, their abhorrence. My aunt's system was held to be utterly
unchristian. Little things which I sometimes said, in perfect
innocence, excited grave disapproval. All this frightened me, and
made me even more reserved than I should have been naturally.
"In my letters to you I began to venture for the first time to speak
of things which were making my life restless. I did little more than
hint my opinions; I wonder, in looking back, that I had the courage
to do even that. But I already knew that your mind was broader and
richer than mine, and I suppose I caught with a certain desperation
at the chance of being understood. It was the first opportunity I
had ever had of discussing intellectual things. With my aunt I had
never ventured to discuss anything; I reverenced her too much for
that; she spoke, and I received all she said. I thought that from
you I should obtain confirmation where I needed it, but your
influence was of the opposite kind.
Pages:
388
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412