"I can't say. She says she is better. It's no use my asking the
doctors; they despise me, and would not think of treating me with
any consideration."
"Why don't you do this?" began Waymark, after another pause. "Use
all means to find some convalescent home where she can be received
when she leaves the hospital. Then, if her fits and the rest of it
still continue, find some permanent place for her. You can afford
it. Never mind if it reduces you for a time to a garret and a
crust."
"She would refuse to go to such places," said Julian despondently.
"Then refuse to take her back! Sell your furniture; take one room
for yourself; and tell her she must live where she likes on a
sufficient allowance from you."
"I dare not. It is impossible. She would never leave me in peace."
"You will have to do this ultimately, if you are to continue to
live. Of that there is no doubt. So why not now?"
"I must think; it is impossible to make up my mind to such a thing
at once. I know you advise what is best; I have thought of it
myself. But I shall never have the courage! I am so miserably weak.
If only I could get my health back! Good God, how I suffer!"
Waymark did his best to familiarise Julian with the thought, and to
foster in him something of resoluteness, but he had small hope of
succeeding.
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