"Yes, I do love you; but at the
same time I know too well the uncertainty of love to go through the
pretence of binding myself to you for ever. Will you accept my love
in its present sincerity, neither hoping nor fearing, knowing that
whatever happens is beyond our own control, feeling with me that
only an ignoble nature can descend to the affectation of union when
the real links are broken?" Could Waymark but have felt sure of her
answer to such an appeal, it would have gone far to make his love
for Ida all-engrossing. She would then be his ideal woman, and his
devotion to her would have no bounds.
But he felt too strongly that in thus speaking he would sadden her
by the destruction of her great hope. On the other hand, to offer to
make her his legal wife would be to do her a yet greater injustice,
even had he been willing to so sacrifice himself. The necessity for
legal marriage would be a confession of her inferiority, and the
sense of being thus bound would, he well knew, be the surest means
of weakening his affection. This affection he could not trust. How
far was it mere passion of the senses, which gratification would
speedily kill?
In the case of his feeling towards Maud Enderby there was no such
doubt.
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