I knew, too, that her concern at my state was the greater because it
was not her first experience of a trouble of this kind. My elder long-
absent brother had scarcely ceased to be a boy before throwing off all
belief in the Christian creed and congratulating himself on having got
rid of old wives' fables, as he scornfully expressed it. But never a
word did he say to her of this change, and without a word she knew it,
and when she spoke to us on the subject nearest to her heart and he
listened in respectful silence, she knew the thought and feeling--that
was in him-that he loved her above everybody but was free of her
creed.
He had been able to cast it off with a light heart because of his
perfect health, since in that condition death is not in the mind--the
mind refuses to admit the thought of it, so remote is it in that state
that we regard ourselves as practically immortal. And, untroubled by
that thought, the mind is clear and vigorous and unfettered. What, I
have asked myself, even when striving after faith, would faith in
another world have mattered to me if I had not been suddenly sentenced
to an early death, when the whole desire of my soul was life, nothing
but life--to live for ever!
Then my mother died. Her perfect health failed her suddenly, and her
decline was not long.
Pages:
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357