He, surely, when he discovered it, must have had that
feeling which I had experienced when I first beheld it and could never
describe. And perhaps the presence of those deep ever-living roots
near his bones, and of the flower in the sunshine above him, would
bring him a beautiful memory in a dream, if ever a dream visited him,
in his long unawakening sleep.
No doubt in cases of this kind, when a first impression and the
emotion accompanying it endures through life, the feeling changes
somewhat with time; imagination has worked on it and has had its
effect; nevertheless the endurance of the image and emotion serves to
show how powerful the mind was moved in the first instance.
I have related this case because there were interesting circumstances
connected with it; but there were other flowers which produced a
similar feeling, which, when recalled, bring back the original
emotion; and I would gladly travel many miles any day to look again at
any one of them. The feeling, however, was evoked more powerfully by
trees than by even the most supernatural of my flowers; it varied in
power according to time and place and the appearance of the tree or
trees, and always affected me most on moonlight nights. Frequently,
after I had first begun to experience it consciously, I would go out
of my way to meet it, and I used to steal out of the house alone when
the moon was at its full to stand, silent and motionless, near some
group of large trees, gazing at the dusky green foliage silvered by
the beams; and at such times the sense of mystery would grow until a
sensation of delight would change to fear, and the fear increase until
it was no longer to be borne, and I would hastily escape to recover
the sense of reality and safety indoors, where there was light and
company.
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