"I have much to bind me to this earth, but perhaps more
power of gratefully enjoying its blessings is wanted, and may be in store
for me before I leave it; some minds seem deeply anchored in the truth,
meekly and patiently bearing the trials of the day, with firmer faith and
greater purity, but each heart alone knows its own bitterness, and I
believe there is never much attainment without much suffering;--a
chastened habit of thought, how desirable to be the habit of early life!
riches and indulgences how inimical to it!"
4th Month, 1825. "My mind enjoyed a liberty, and something of the light
of the glorious gospel, a state which I often pant after, and am so
generally a stranger to; in each day a religious engagement seemed
peculiarly blessed to myself. A sense of being liked and loved, is
gratifying; at the same time I acknowledge, it has its dangers; it is,
however, a stimulus to do good and to communicate."
4th Month, 25th. "A poor body, and a weak restless mind! How the sword
does wear the scabbard! but this world is not to be our paradise; perhaps
I lose some little strength in striving to make it so. Oh! my God, have
pity upon me; thou alone canst know how much I suffer;--if my children
ail anything, what it costs me.
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