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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"The 30,000 Dollar Bequest and Other Stories"


If this reptile is a man, it isn't an IT, is it? That wouldn't
be grammatical, would it? I think it would be HE. I think so.
In that case one would parse it thus: nominative, HE; dative, HIM;
possessive, HIS'N. Well, I will consider it a man and call it he
until it turns out to be something else. This will be handier
than having so many uncertainties.
NEXT WEEK SUNDAY.--All the week I tagged around after him and tried
to get acquainted. I had to do the talking, because he was shy,
but I didn't mind it. He seemed pleased to have me around, and I
used the sociable "we" a good deal, because it seemed to flatter him
to be included.
WEDNESDAY.--We are getting along very well indeed, now, and getting
better and better acquainted. He does not try to avoid me any more,
which is a good sign, and shows that he likes to have me with him.
That pleases me, and I study to be useful to him in every way I can,
so as to increase his regard. During the last day or two I
have taken all the work of naming things off his hands, and this
has been a great relief to him, for he has no gift in that line,
and is evidently very grateful. He can't think of a rational name
to save him, but I do not let him see that I am aware of his defect.
Whenever a new creature comes along I name it before he has time
to expose himself by an awkward silence. In this way I have
saved him many embarrassments.


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