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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"The 30,000 Dollar Bequest and Other Stories"

When he git to de house he rush upstairs
en jump in de bed en kiver up, head and years, en lay da shiverin'
en shakin'--en den way out dah he hear it AGIN!--en a-COMIN'! En
bimeby he hear (pause--awed, listening attitude)--pat--pat--pat HIT'S
A-COMIN' UPSTAIRS! Den he hear de latch, en he KNOW it's in de room!
Den pooty soon he know it's a-STANNIN' BY DE BED! (Pause.) Den
--he know it's a-BENDIN' DOWN OVER HIM--en he cain't skasely git
his breath! Den--den--he seem to feel someth'n' C-O-L-D, right down
'most agin his head! (Pause.)
Den de voice say, RIGHT AT HIS YEAR--"W-h-o--g-o-t--m-y g-o-l-d-e-n ARM?"
(You must wail it out very plaintively and accusingly; then you stare
steadily and impressively into the face of the farthest-gone auditor
--a girl, preferably--and let that awe-inspiring pause begin to build
itself in the deep hush. When it has reached exactly the right length,
jump suddenly at that girl and yell, "YOU'VE got it!")
If you've got the PAUSE right, she'll fetch a dear little yelp and
spring right out of her shoes. But you MUST get the pause right;
and you will find it the most troublesome and aggravating and
uncertain thing you ever undertook.



GENERAL WASHINGTON'S NEGRO BODY-SERVANT

A Biographical Sketch

The stirring part of this celebrated colored man's life properly began
with his death--that is to say, the notable features of his biography
began with the first time he died.


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