She was too human to be safe. Marriage with Jim would protect
him and her from each other and from the numberless temptations
awaiting them. Finally, there were no children in the matter.
All arguments prove too much and too little, and in the end become
simply our own briefs for our own inclinations. Charity's mood being
what it was, she adopted the line of reasoning that led to her own
ambition. She spent much time on her knees, but communed chiefly
with herself, and rose always confirmed in her belief that to marry
Jim Dyckman was the next great business of her existence.
Jim, too, had grown unwontedly earnest. The marriage denounced by
the religious had taken on a religious quality. He was inclined to
battle for it as for a creed, as the clergymen had battled vainly
for the new canon.
He, too, felt a spirit of genuflexion and wanted to speak to God
personally; to appeal to Him by a private petition as to a king
whose ministers denied mercy.
By his bed he sank down and prayed. He was very solemn, but too
uncertain of the solemn voice to use it. He half whispered, half
thought:
"O God, I don't know how you want me to act. I only know that my
heart keeps on calling for Charity and a home with her, and children
some day. There'll never be any children for either of us if we obey
the Church. Forgive me if I doubt what these preachers tell me, but
I just can't believe it to be your voice. If it is not your voice,
what is it that makes me feel it such a sin not to marry Charity?
I'm going to, God, unless you stop me.
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