Of course you must go. If you feel anger with me now
or afterwards remember that I have lost every hope or desire I ever
had. I don't want your pity. I want no one's pity. I wanted once
your affection, but I wanted it on my own terms. That was wrong. I
do not want your affection any longer; you were never the girl I
thought you. You're a strange girl, Maggie, and you will have, I am
afraid, a very unhappy life."
"No, I will not," said Maggie. "I will have a happy life."
"That is for God to say," said Aunt Anne.
"No, it is not," said Maggie. "I can make my own happiness. God
can't touch it, if I don't let Him."
"Maggie, you're blasphemous," said Aunt Anne, but not in anger.
"I'm not," said Maggie. "When I came here first I didn't believe in
God, but now--I'm not sure. There's something strange, which may be
God for all I know. I'm going to find out. If He has the doing of
everything then He's taken away all I cared for, and I'm not going
to give Him the satisfaction of seeing that it hurt; if He didn't do
it, then it doesn't matter."
"You'll believe in Him before you die, Maggie," said Aunt Anne.
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