When I was only about nine, at home one Sunday they asked me if I'd
say a prayer, and I did, before them all, made it up and went on for
quarter of an hour. Lord! I must have been an awful child. And
outside the religious time I was as wicked as I could be. I used to
go down into the kitchen and steal the food and I'd dress up as a
ghost to frighten Amy and I'd break mother's china. I remember once,
after we'd had a service in the drawing-room and two girls had gone
into hysterics, I stole down into the kitchen in my nightdress to
get some jam and I found one of the Elders making love to the cook.
They were both so fat and he had his coat and waistcoat off and he
was kissing her neck. My word, they were frightened when they saw
me standing there! After that I could do what I liked with the cook
. . . We used to have prayer meetings in the drawing-room, and
sometimes father would pray so hard that the glass chandelier would
shake and rattle till I used to think it would come down."
"And the funny thing was that one minute I'd be pinching Amy who was
kneeling next to me and the next I'd be shaking with religion and
seeing God standing right in front of me by the coal-scuttle.
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