Yes, yes, I know Tib. She is an
affectionate, good child, who would never be so hard-hearted as to
abuse the man she loves, and could not be so mean and pitiful, even
in thought, as to wish to marry the man she did not love. Just
because he is a man. Yes, I know Tib, and now I will go straight to
her and ask her if she will marry a good, honest lad, who, to be
sure, is somewhat lean, but who doubtless will become fatter if he
has any other fare than the meagre, abominable stuff on which Gammer
Gurton feeds him; a lad who, to be sure, is blear-eyed, but will
soon get over that disease when he no more sees Gammer Gurton, who
acts on his eyes like a stinking onion, and makes them always red
and running water. Good-by, old onion! I am going to Tib."
But Gammer Gurton whirled up out of her elbow-chair like a top, and
was upon Hodge, whom she held by the coat-tail, and brought him to a
stand.
"You dare go to Tib again! You dare pass that door and you shall see
that the gentle, peaceable, and patient Gammer Gurton is changed
into a lioness, when any one tries to tear from her that most sacred
and dearest of treasures, her husband. For you are my husband,
inasmuch as I have your word that you will marry me."
"But I have not told you when and where I will do it, Gammer Gurton;
and so you can wait to all eternity, for only in heaven will I be
your husband."
"That is an abominable, malicious lie!" screamed Gammer Gurton. "A
good-for-nothing lie, say I! For did you not long ago snivel and beg
till I was forced to promise you to make a will, and in it declare
Hodge, my beloved husband, sole heir of all my goods and chattels,
and bequeath to him everything I have scraped together in my
virtuous and industrious life?"
"But you did not make it--the will.
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