"There again verily is my sweet, charming
housekeeper, Gammer Gurton," said John Heywood, laughing; "and she
no doubt is quarrelling again with my excellent servant, that poor,
long-legged, blear-eyed Hodge. Ah! ha! Yesterday I surprised her as
she applied a kiss to him, at which he made as doleful a face as if
a bee had stung him. To-day I hear how she is boxing his ears. He is
perhaps now laughing at it, and thinks it is a rose-leaf which cools
his cheek. That Hodge is such a queer bird! But we will at once see
what there is to-day, and what farce is being performed now."
He crept softly up-stairs, and, opening the door of his room, closed
it again behind him quickly and gently. Gammer Gurton, who was in
the room adjoining, had heard nothing, seen nothing; and had the
heavens come tumbling down at that moment, she would have scarcely
noticed it; for she had eyes and sense only for this long, lank
lackey who stood before her shaking with fear, and staring at her
out of his great bluish-white eyes. Her whole soul lay in her
tongue; and her tongue ran as fast as a will-wheel, and with the
force of thunder. How, then, could Gammer Gurton well have time and
ears to hear her master, who had softly entered his chamber and
slyly crept to the door, only half closed, which separated his room
from that of the housekeeper?" How!" screamed Gammer Gurtoh, "you
silly raga muffin, you wish to make me believe that it was the cat
that ran away with my sewing-needle, as if my sewing-needle were a
mouse and smelt of bacon, you stupid, blear-eyed fool!"
"Ah, you call me a fool," cried Hodge, with a laugh, which caused
his mouth to describe a graceful line across his face from ear to
ear; "you call me a fool, and that is a great honor for me, for then
I am a servant worthy of my master.
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