I longed to ask what it was
Mr. Winthrop decided I must not know; and the mere fact of his so wishing
deterred me from asking. But I felt convinced it was in some way
connected with Hermione Le Grande. Neither could I confess to Mrs.
Flaxman that I had only an hour or two before heard from her own lips the
terrible wrong she had done him, or her plainly expressed determination
to win him back once more.
Usually an excellent sleeper, I lay that night finding sleep impossible,
and counting the quarter hours as the great hall clock rang them out in
the still space. I made the discovery, too, in the solemn hush of the
night, when thought grows most active and intense, that notwithstanding
his coldness and positive cynicism, I cherished for my guardian in the
short time I had been with him an affection stronger than I had ever felt
for any one since I had lost my two intensely-beloved parents--a loss
that had embittered the otherwise happy period of girlhood. I had never
realized until that night how much he was to me. Pity, perhaps, for the
bitter pain that had so changed his whole nature, may have awakened me to
the fact; but still there was an inexplicable charm about him that even
merry-hearted, trifling Hubert felt, and forced his unwilling regard. I
shrank with sudden pain from the mere thought of seeing him married to
Hermione Le Grande; but instinctively feeling that his was one of those
still, changeless natures which never outgrows a master passion, and
recalling her beauty and grace, I could only commit him to the sure care
of the God whom he affected to believe does not take cognizance of human
joys or griefs.
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