"
"It was so much the more sacred because of my absence, John," Gilbert
said.
"Perhaps. After all, I suppose it was only a question of opportunity.
That particular devil who tempts men to their dishonour contrived that
the business should be made fatally easy for me. You were away, and the
coast was clear, you know. I loved you, Gilbert; but there is a passion
stronger than the love which a man feels for his dearest friend. I meant
most steadfastly to keep my faith with you; but you were away, and that
fellow Forster plagued me to come to him. I refused at first--yes, I held
out for a couple of months; but the fever was strong upon me--a restless
demon not to be exorcised by hard work, or dissipation even, for I tried
both. And then before you were at the end of your journey, while you were
still a wanderer across the desolate sea, happy in the thought of your
dear love's fidelity, my courage gave way all at once, and I went down
to Heatherly. And so I saw her, and saw that she loved me--all unworthy
as I was; and from that hour I was a lost man; I thought of nothing but
winning her."
"If you had only been true to me, even then, John; if you had written to
me declaring the truth, and giving me fair warning that you were my
rival, how much better it would have been! Think what a torture of
suspense, what a world of wasted anger, you might have saved me.
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