But he had to control
his irritation. In fact, he saw his whole life ahead of him carefully
schooled and controlled. He no longer had anything to sell. Elizabeth had
made a mock of him and shown him that he was hollow, that he was living
on her charity. He must all the days that she remained alive keep
flattering her, trying to find a way to make himself a necessity to her.
And after her death there would be a still harder task. Terry, who
disliked him pointedly, would then be the master, and he would face the
bitter necessity of cajoling the youngster whom he detested. A fine life,
truly! An almost noble anguish of the spirit came upon Vance. He was
urged to the very brink of the determination to thrust out into the world
and make his own living. But he recoiled from that horrible idea in time.
"Yes," he said, "that was the worst step I ever took. But I was trying to
be wholehearted in the Western way, my dear, and show that I had entered
into the spirit of things."
"As a matter of fact," sighed Elizabeth, "you nearly ruined Terry's
life--and mine!"
"Very near," said the penitent Vance.
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