All faults or defects, from the slightest misconduct to the most
flagitious crime, Pantocyclus attributed to some deviation from
perfect Regularity in the bodily figure, caused perhaps (if not
congenital) by some collision in a crowd; by neglect to take exercise,
or by taking too much of it; or even by a sudden change of
temperature, resulting in a shrinkage or expansion in some too
susceptible part of the frame. Therefore, concluded that illustrious
Philosopher, neither good conduct nor bad conduct is a fit subject, in
any sober estimation, for eithe praise or blame. For why should you
praise, for example, the integrity of a Square who faithfully defends
the interests of his client, when you ought in reality rather to
admire the exact precision of his right angles? Or again, why blame a
lying, thievish Isosceles, when you ought rather to deplore the
incurable inequality of his sides?
Theoretically, this doctrine is unquestionable; but it has
practical drawbacks. In dealing with an Isosceles, if a rascal pleads
that he cannot help stealing because of his unevenness, you reply that
for that very reason, because he cannot help being a nuisance to his
neighbours, you, the Magistrate, cannot help sentencing him to be
consumed -- and tehre's an end of the matter.
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