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McCutcheon, George Barr, 1866-1928

"Green Fancy"

The usually placid Mr. Dillingford was transformed into a
snarling beast every time one of his "lines" was cut out by the
relentless Rushcroft, and there were times when Mr. Bacon loudly
accused his fiancee of "crabbing" his part. Everybody called everybody
else a "hog," and God was asked a hundred times a day to bear witness
to as many atrocities.
Each day the bewildered, distressed young woman who sat with Barnes in
the dim "parquet," whispered in his ear:
"Can they ever be friendly again?"
And every night at supper she rejoiced to find them all on the best of
terms, calling each other "dearie," and "old chap," and "honey," and
declaring that no such company had ever been gotten together in the
history of the stage! Such words as "slob," "fat-head," "boob" or "you
poor nut" never found their way outside the sacred precincts of the
theatre.
Mr. Rushcroft magnanimously offered to coach "Miss Jones" in the part
he was going to write in for her just as soon as he could get around
to it.
"No use writing a part for her, Mr. Barnes, until I get through
beating the parts we already have into the heads of these poor fools
up here. I've got trouble enough on my hands.


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