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McCutcheon, George Barr, 1866-1928

"Green Fancy"

I'm not in love with her."
"Can you speak with equal authority for Mr. O'Dowd? He is a very
susceptible Irishman, I am told. Sweethearts in a great many ports,--
and still going strong, as we say of the illustrious Johnny Walker.
From all that I have heard of her amazing beauty, I can't blame him
for losing his heart to her. I only hope he loses his head as well."
"I don't believe he will get much encouragement from her, Mr.
Sprouse," said Barnes stiffly.
"If she is as clever as I think she is, she will encourage him
tremendously. I would if I were in her place."
"Umph!" was Barnes's only retort to that.
"Is it possible that you have never had the pleasure of being
transformed into a perfect ass by the magic of a perfect woman, Mr.
Barnes? You've missed a great deal. It happened to me once, and came
near to upsetting the destinies of two great nations. Mr. O'Dowd is
only human. He isn't immune."
"I catch the point, Mr. Sprouse," said Barnes, rather gloomily. He did
not like to think of the methods that might have to be employed in the
subjugation of Mr. O'Dowd. "There is a rather important question I'd
like to ask. Is she even remotely eligible to her country's throne?"
"Remotely, yes," said Sprouse without hesitation.


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