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McCutcheon, George Barr, 1866-1928

"Green Fancy"


She agrees with him. She has even gone so far as to say, to my face,
that beggars cannot be choosers, although I must give her credit for
not using the expression in the scoundrel's presence. 'Pon my soul,
Barnes, I have never been so sorely tried in all my life. Emma,--I
should say, Mercedes,--denounces me to my face. She says I am a
wastrel, a profligate,--(there I have her, however, for she failed to
consult the dictionary before applying the word to me),--an ingrate,
and a lot of other things I fail to recall in my dismay. She contends
that I have no right to do what I please with my own money. Indeed,
she goes so far as to say that I haven't any money at all. I have
tried to explain to her the very simple principles upon which all
financial transactions are based, but she remains as obtuse as
Cleopatra's Needle. Her ignorance would be pitiful if she wasn't so
damned obstinate about it. And to cap the climax, she had the
insolence to ask me to show her a dollar in real money. By gad, sir,
she's as unreasonable as Putnam Jones himself."
Barnes gallantly came to the daughter's defense. He was more than
pleased by the father's revelations. They proved her to be possessed
of fine feelings and a genuine sense of appreciation.


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