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McCutcheon, George Barr, 1866-1928

"Green Fancy"

I want to get a good square peep at a man who has the means to
go somewhere else and yet is boob enough to come to this gosh-awful
place of his own free will and accord. Darn it, you LOOK intelligent.
I don't get you at all. What's the matter? Are you a fugitive from
justice?"
Barnes laughed aloud. There was no withstanding the fellow's sprightly
impudence.
"I happen to enjoy walking," said he.
"If I enjoyed it as much as you do, I'd be limping into Harlem by this
time," said Mr. Dillingford sadly. "But, you see, I'm an actor. I'm
too proud to walk."
"Up against poor business, I presume?"
"Up against no business at all," said Mr. Dillingford. "We couldn't
even get 'em to come in on passes. Last Saturday night we had out
enough paper to fill the house and, by gosh, only eleven people showed
up. You can't beat that, can you? Three of 'em paid to get in. That
made a dollar and a half, box office. We nearly had to give it back."
"Bad weather?" suggested Barnes feelingly. He had removed his wet
coat, and stood waiting.
"Nope. Moving pictures. They'd sooner pay ten cents to see a movie
than to come in and see us free. The old man was so desperate he tried
to kill himself the morning we arrived at this joint.


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