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Quiller-Couch, Arthur Thomas, Sir, 1863-1944

"News from the Duchy"

This mornin' we re-shipped it as you see. First along we
intended no more than just to break the news to Eli's mother, an'
hand him over to her; but Bill reckoned that to hand him over, cask
an' all, would look careless; for (as he said) 'twasn' as if you
could _bury_ 'im in a cask. We allowed your Reverence would draw the
line at that, though we hadn' the pleasure o' knowin' you at the
time."
"Yes," agreed the Parson, as Mr. Jope paused, "I fear it could not be
done without scandal."
"That's just how Bill put it. 'Well then,' says I, thinkin' it over,
'why not do the handsome while we're about it? You an' me ain't the
sort of men,' I says, 'to spoil the ship for a ha'porth o' tar.'
'Certainly we ain't,' says Bill. 'An' we've done a lot for Eli,'
says I. 'We have,' says Bill. 'Well then,' says I, 'let's put a
coat o' paint on the whole business an' have him embalmed.' Bill was
enchanted."
"I--I beg your pardon," put in the barber, edging away a pace.
"Bill was enchanted. Hark to him in the store, there, knockin' away
at the chisel."
"But there's some misunderstanding," the little man protested
earnestly. "I understood it was to be a _shave_.


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