But far greater and more difficult was the courage he
showed while alone in the dark sick-room, and in the private wards
of the hospitals.
In the letters he dictates from there he still is concerned only lest
those at home shall "worry"; he reassures them with falsehoods,
jokes at their fears; of the people he can see from the window of
the hospital tells them foolish stories; for a little boy who has been
kind he asks them to send him his Chinese postage stamps; he
plans a trip he will take with them when he is stronger, knowing he
never will be stronger. The doctors had urged upon him a certain
operation, and of it to a friend he wrote: "I know that I will have to
have a piece about three inches square cut out of my skull, and this
nerve cut off near the middle of the brain, as well as my eye taken
out (for a couple of hours only, provided it is not mislaid, and can
be found). Doctor ------ and his crowd show a bad memory for
failures. As a result of this operation others have told me--I forget
the percentage of deaths, which does not matter, but--that a large
percentage have become insane. And some lost their sight."
While threatened with insanity and complete blindness, and hourly
from his wounds suffering a pain drugs could not master, he
dictated for the _Century Magazine_ the only complete account of
the battle of the Yalu.
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